Luckily I haven’t had much complains about my sex-life being a single woman, but even I occasionally made the mistake to screw up casual sex.
In order to preserve you for that I have made the 10 commandments in order to make your sex-relationship a success.
Keep in mind, this is different than having a FWB, a concept previously explained by one of my loyal readers: friends-with-benefits. For casual sex you speak of a “Fuck Buddy” and you practically share you nothing but just sex.
So you can understand yourself that this so often goes wrong, either from side of the women or the men something bad happens. Often on the side of the women, I have to admit. If I had to give a reason for this, I think men get attracted to very different types of woman for a sex-relationship compared to a serious relationship. This is something I often hear back from male-friends and colleagues. While women in both situations look for the same (because it is difficult for them to search purely sex-focussed) and then at some point they’re not able to separate their emotions from the sex anymore. And actually it’s logically, because who wouldn’t fall in love and if the sex is great, and he/she is handsome ánd you can have a nice conversation with him/her? So make sure you are don’t fall for this trap and make clear what you both desire. Well enough about that, on to the 10 commandments!
The 10 commandments of casual sex
1. Keep it fun and horny!
In choosing your fuck buddy you shouldn’t focus on anything else than the physical attraction and sexual spark. If the sex is fantastic and he/she is also smart, funny and sweet, it will be difficult to maintain the noncommittal attitude..
2. Your best friend is a no-go!
Having sex with one of your best friends and casual are absolutely not compatible. You will never be able to keep the emotions an pure sex separated. Besides that it will either ruin your friendship or it will end up as a relationship.
3. Do it for the right reasons!
Casual sex is because you enjoy sex and want it. Doing it to prove something is just slutty and to doing it just do in hopes for more will only make you be regretful and insecure in the end.
4. Don’t cuddle for hours!
In fact the rule should be ‘orgamses only’. Does that mean you have to kick him/her out after the sex? No, but cuddling for hours and couch-hanging are forbidden. This kind of affection is only for RS not for sex-relationships.
5. Don’t introduce him/her!
Fuckbuddies shouldn’t be introduced to your friends. This avoids them liking the company of him/her to much or making him/her a permanent factor in your life. Besides that it will only abet to ‘what if-‘ thoughts whih gives causal no chance anymore. Talking to your friends about your adventures is of course no problem at all.
6. Be naked as much as possible!
This is about sex … outlined, well-thought outfits (unless of course kinky sets) and difficult stuff are not necessary. Who goes to too much trouble in a sexual relationship, will be walking quickly within the danger zone. Stick to the basics and pay attention to your hygiene and take care of your body, that’s what you expect from the other as well. And also do not spend hours on the sofa or terraces in advance, because it shows more affection than pure sex.
7. Don’t be selfish!
It can only be casual when both want the same thing. The pleasure of the other is of course just as important since you both want to have a fun time. If you only think about yourself you’d better keep masturbating and when you only use someone with genuine feelings for sex, you’re just a dick / bitch. Are you the victim? Read commandment 3 again.
8. Get your freak on!
Since you literally have nothing to lose, you can let go off your limits. Try the whole kamasutra and let your wildest fantasies come true. 9 out of 10 he / she will love it. If not, he / she is simply replaceable. Additionally, you hereby don´t have to settle for less. Just say what you want, since you have no relationship and it should be fun for both of you better tell me how you like it, since you don´t have to be careful to hurt the others feelings.
9. Go safe!
Sex relationships are in principle not monogamous. The probability is high that your FB has other partners. Therefore always go safe or make alternate arrangements. Certainly in a sexual relationship in which pleasure is paramount, it is difficult to keep everything safe, make sure to be honest and let the other decide how he / she has to wants to deal with it and get a regular check up.
10. Be clear at all times!
Both before and after. Sex-relationships are mostly temporarily. So you don’t have to beat about the bush if you met someone else. If you follow these 10 commandments no one will be left hurted. And maybe, after your RS, you can return to your FB and if not, you’ll find a new one. Specially for woman this is a easy thing.
When to cut it off?
– If you notice you spend to much time thinking about the other or spending to much time together.
– If you doubt your safety, break it off and see your GP 6 weeks after the last unsafe sexual contact.
– If the sex gets bad or it’s not really what you want. You are not in a RS so it has to be nice, if not, you’ll find someone who suits your desire better.
– If you notice something changed with the other person, be honest about it and have a talk. Signs in this are; more contact, the use of specific pet names, less sex and more cuddling, more effort putted into it, and so on.
– If you fall in love with someone else.