Soo.. your relationship with that special someone has come and gone, but now you want your ex back.
The good news is that there is potential for ending up with reunion and a better-than-ever relationship ahead, of course depending on the reason why you broke up in the first place. However, the most important thing in order to get your ex back and have that better-than-ever relationship, is that you must be honest with yourself. Wanting your ex back because you hate being alone is not a good reason, maybe you’ll succeed, but the relationship will strand soon enough.
Anyway, if you are sincere about your wish to get back together, below are ten tips and tricks, the order does not matter.
1. Give your ex space and time.
Nice and obvious, and yet the hardest. But really, you have to give your ex some space and time after the break-up. Not too long, but enough so that he/she can miss you. It will be hard for you, but believe me, the other has certainly not forgotten about you. Usually one feels a relief after the break-up, allow your ex to feel this way and use the time for yourself to think about what you really want.
Usually after the feeling of relief the missing you part comes. I can’t give you a time that’s required for this, but think about a few weeks up to a month, until the first contact.
2. Don’t harass your ex with call and messages.
Don’t call or message your ex constantly. This will only annoy them and give the impression that you’re desperate (I’ll get back on that). By not contacting your ex, you will send a clear signal that you’re moving on with your life instead of being a pile of desperate human-being (haha sorry I watched too much girlmovies), and they need to do something to win your affections if they really want you back.
3. Don’t act desperate.
Don’t act desperate, nobody likes miserable people. Try a subtle approach before you try anything obvious. Read and understand the others signs first, not everybody is ready for a new start that fast, even if they do want to see you.
4. Accept invitations.
If your ex asks you out (as friends) and you had time to rethink everything for yourself, accept the invitation. Don’t pretend you are soo unavailable, cause that will only ruin your chances. Your ex will either think you are playing a game (of hard-to-get) or that your interest is gone, in both scenario’s they will give up on you.
5. Keep your appearance up
Physical appearance and presentation count! If you and your ex agree to catch up, try and be the person they fell for at the start. This will make old feelings come back (‘ahh that’s the dress she wore when we… on our romatic date..) and prevent them to think that you’ve let yourself go following the break-up.
6. Be careful of your demeanor.
Coming on too strong with flirtatious or suggestive looks is not the way to go, this will also only give a desperate impression, just as being to detached, which indicates you are still angry with your ex and nobody looks forward to fighting again. A simple but friendly smile is OK to begin with.
7. Be honest and biding.
Be honest with your ex and yourself. Act normal and casual. Be patient and wait for your ex to start asking more serious questions. If your break-up or problems from before come up in the convo, be open to this, acknowledge your mistakes and show you learned from it. Nobody wants to restart a RS with someone who keeps acting as if their nose bleeds, or with the clear chance everything will start again.
8. Keep it cool.
Keep it cool and don’t be to obvious that you miss your ex. If you do you’ll send them the message that they have the higher ground and, therefore, the superior negotiating position! What you can do is make an incidental remark about a memory of you two, not too many, but enough to make them remember a nice moment like: ‘do you remember when…?’. Being able to laugh about something together strengthens your bond.
9. Don’t try to make your ex jealous.
Hitting on his or her best friend is a clear no-no. This can be very hurtful to a number of people – aside from your ex – and may alienate you from a wider social circle. Choosing this path is almost a sure fire way of never getting your ex back.
but also when it comes to other people, he/she doesn’t need to know you slept with 20 others after, this will only make your ex repulsed or insecure about your loyalty.
10. Don’t have sex with your ex.
Sex with your ex, there is almost no better. You know exactly how to handle each other, don’t need to be shy and so on.. But to regain your ex, he or she has to miss you and that part of you as well, being there personal blow up doll will not help your case. If you want to have sex with your ex, fine. But don’t expect to win his/her love with it, so if you really want them back, don’t.
Finally, I would advise you to keep reality right in the eye. Don’t overdo yourself and don’t keep trying desperately for months. Forcing it has no sense, and at some point you have to have enough and really get on with your life.
Yes these tips are difficult, so seek distraction, app a friend, keep your phone far away when you are in bed, cause those are usually the hardest moments. Write your thoughts down and focus on other things in your life. And ladies, don’t get a cat 😉