Honest about sex: Sex is dirty

Sex is dirty, makes sounds and is not even close to the spotless image you get from (porn)movies, still we don’t really think it is dirty, in fact  in an aroused state we are prepared to do more nasty stuff than usual and that’s what I will explain to you today.

A while ago I was talking with a friend about her and her new boyfriend. She asked me for tips for positions in which she could sit on top without making so-called fart sounds. These sounds were not always there and she had never heard anyone about hem. In addition, if you go to movies or watch porn you will not often hear something like it, so she thought she was somehow strange, just like certain odors that emerged. Wrong! Sex just is dirty and simply makes sounds!

Sex and sounds
Headboard banging the wall, queaky springs, waterbed sloshing and so on.. If it’s not the furniture making sounds, it’s you.
If you are sitting or lying in a certain position you occasionally (or on the assembly line) create a fart sound while stubbing, for example from her vagina/abdomen on his, or if you’re lying doggy, from her buttocks and his abdomen. This makes sense since air collects between your bodies. Just don’t be ashamed, laugh about it and change the angle of your position. Usually that is sufficient to fix the sound or mute it.

Then you have the clashing of his abdomen against your buttocks, if you’re a bit enthusiastic while doing doggy and even with old-but-gold missionary you can hear that sound. Considering this you could or slow a bit down, go less deep as man, try to mute the sound with clothes between you or just fuck it (unless your neighbors start bouncing on the walls).
And lets not forget the so-called pussy farts. In certain positions or angles a man pumps air into the vagina, and while pulling out or tensing her abs the (odorless) air comes out. Well also that’s life 😛
But also when we take a step back. With eating pussy and sucking cock one can make the craziest sounds, especially if you, in giving a BJ, suck and quickly move you still sometimes produce suction- or slobber noises. This doesn’t matter at all, because this is just normal.
In movies you’ll only hear the violin playing and in porn most of these exorbitant ‘background noises’ as sucking and sopping are filtered out, to keep it as turning-on as possible and to not distract the men too much.

And ofcourse, after al the body sounds you still have the moaning, groaning and other excorcist-sounds which occur during sex, which you shouldn’t be ashamed of as well. First of all there are research who claim the noisier the sex, the better and second it can be a total turn-on for your partner. How much noise you want to make is up to you, but let me tell you this (but please don’t overdo it, nobody gets turned on by a screamer), you can also use sounds to get what you want. If your partner is hitting the right spot of doing a great job, you can let him know this by moaning a bit more, this makes that your partner knows he/she is doing a good job and you get exactly what you want!

Sex and beauty

In this there is a little difference between movies and porn. I movies you’ll only get the romance side, where not a single hair is escaping, no roll of fat hanging out and no saliva exists.
Porn is more honest, in BJ-scenes you see the scary faces one can pull of and the saliva everywhere where someone is sucking or licking. And that’s the way it is. Sex and beauty don’t go hand in hand, just like working out or other effort doesn’t make you look on your best, ha Beyoncé?

Luckily this is definitely not what your partner is thinking about at that moment, or will judge you on, So do all the crazy positions you like and stop worrying about your big-O-face, regardless how not-sexy you think you are!

Sex and smell
Every person has his own, unique body odor, sweats different and produces in his own way discharge/smegma. Al these things have their own smells, which can also change by (in women) hormones of the menstruation cycle. So you go into the sex with a smell already. Luckily there are a lot of nice pheromones and substances in vaginal discharge which turn men on and (and I will explain this below) one doesn’t feel revulsion while being turned on!

Then you’re having sex, all fun and games, but you’re actually creating a circus of bacteria’s. All smells can namely change when they come together. Sperm can affect the PH-Value of the vagina, which causes a different, stronger smell in the girl, which also sticks to the penis after a lot of sex. A good wash (rinse out) with only water should, in most cases, do the trick.
In case you have a really strong (fishy) smell, or burning, itching feeling, check here or here.

Sex is dirty, or not?
According to Daniel R. Kelly is the response of aversion/disguste to the smell of non-fresh stuff or body fluids like sweat, sperm and saliva a expansion of our immune system. Man has this natural mechanism built in to ensure that we do not poison ourselves or expose ourselves to infections.

Luckily David Buss, professor psychology at the Texas university, suggests that sexual arousal causes our natural aversion to the above matters is neutralized or at least suppressed. Sexual arousal overcomes our natural aversion reflexes, allowing us to do things we otherwise find repulsive. A few examples:

  • Sexual motivation disrupts our rational judgment when risks of sexually transmitted diseases are at stake.
  • Sexually excited men are willing to have sex with women who would otherwise not be considered attractive.
  • Sexual arousal can also push our moral boundaries and lead to perverse or unacceptable behavior.
  • Sexually aroused women have fewer problems with disgusting things that even have anything to do with sex like drinking a glass of juice that contained a bug (research Borg, 2012).

In addition, according to him, women show much easier aversion for sexual acts than men. This avoids that they are going to have sex with the wrong men, men with low hygien or men who can transmit diseases.

Now Borg and de Jong (2012) actually studied how it is that we enjoy sex despite all disgusting incidentals.
In their study, they only looked at the effect of arousal in women on the perceived dislike of both sexual acts and non-sexual acts. Long story short, Borg concludes that a lack of sexual excitement is in the way because the mechanism that neutralizes aversion is not activated at that point. “The investigation showed that the group that was sexually excited, had much less problems with dirty tasks than the other two groups,” said Borg. “The reason why we do not know exactly, but we can now identify a possible cause of sexual dysfunction in women.”

So to summarize everything here, sex is never as silent and perfect as in movies, your body bends in different angles and does not always shows your best and everyone has his/her own odors, which also may change but happily that all doesn’t matter! We are programmed to not be thinking about that when we get excited, so forget the worries and enjoy!

Borg, C. & de Jong, P.J. (2012)
Feelings of Disgust and Disgust-Induced Avoidance Weaken following Induced Sexual Arousal in Women PLoS ONE 7(9): e44111. doi:10.1371/journal

Kelly, D.R. (2011), Universitair hoofddocent filosofie aan de Purdue University en auteur van het boek “Yuck! The Nature and Moral Significance of Disgust”.
Boek: http://books.google.nl/books?id=j-VGSQPE40oC&lpg=PP1&ots=WdAkR0PGJv&dq=Daniel%20R.%20Kelly%2C%20%22Yuck!%20The%20Nature%20and%20Moral%20Significance%20of%20Disgust%22&lr&hl=nl&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q&f=false


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