How to: Eating Pussy (like a boss)

As you may have noticed, I’m working at a callcenter. Since the average age is somewhere begin 20’s , sex is a standard topic at the workplace. Some time ago the guys were talking about oral sex, while smoking a cigarette. The outcome was that they loved to get there dicks sucked, but eating pussy? ‘I wont eat something I don’t know’ and ‘pussy’s are not nice to look at’ 

Well excuse me, but these comments give me chills. So let’s talk about pussy’s.


Next to these comments I often hear from women (or their partners) that they don’t like to get their pussy’s licked. Personally, I don’t believe that. In my opinion almost all women love to get licked (considering it’s done well) and those who say they don’t, actually have different reasons.

Mostly they have to do with shame and insecurity. The ladies are unhappy or insecure and ask themselves if everything is like it’s ‘supposed’ to be. Much is done to make men happy (cause in the end that’s what we women want, answer to man’s ideal); hair removal stuff, using Lactacyd and kindred, vaginajewelling etc. But also more aggressive methods are not avoided. This is especially seen in the plastic surgery world in temrs of increasing labiaplasty and other frills in the female, intimate area.

I saw lots of shows about this topic on TV. Maybe you are familiar with Sex Education UK. In this show they did a research about different vagina’s and woman insecurity about them. I noticed that it was specially directed at women. According to the show women were comparing themselves to porn and because of that they all want a designer vagina. If I check my friends I know less than half of them watches porn and next to that, they are really known with the difference between porn and real-life. So considering this and the comments from my co-workers, I conclude we’d better educate the men, since they are the ones with expectation, which they project on the ladies, who start setting expectations for themselves. And that makes the circle round again.

So lets break the circle and lets talk about what a normal pussy is. A normal pussy is:

Ridiculous!
A little explanation of the word normal: common, ordinary, customary, commonly, usual, habitual, ordinarily.. So the average person can imagine that the scenes in porn are not normal, as much as they can imagine there is no standard pussy.

The female genital comes in all shapes and sizes:

image

In case we would like to set a standard, I would say: Any well taken care of pussy can be an perfect clam 😉 In the end that’s what counts, right?

We all want a clean, taken care of body and expect this from our partners as well. Specially when it’s about these parts we stick our nose and other parts of our body in.

To come back on eating pussy, I can imagine that you don’t go down on a new partner immediately. Because of the idea of it and because of the health risks. To disturb your dream, oral sex DOES bring the risk of STD’s. Both for the giver as the receiver. And be honest, nobody uses a condom while performing a blowjob, do you?

But in case you are trough this stage and going to venture on oral sex I’d like to give you a few tips:

To the ladies:
– If you shower everyday, not wear to much synthetic panties, change your underwear regular etc. you don’t have to worry about not being clean. As far as can be necessary you can have a wash and a brush up right before the moment suprême.

– Part of the hygiene is hair removal. Generally men like soft, bold kitty’s. In case you like it more natural make sure you at least shave your labia and the surrounding area.

– In case you still have problems, despite these tips, like bad smells, don’t hesitate to see your GP. Maybe the problems are cause because of a fungal infection and he/she can help you get rid of it in a second.

– Relax and enjoy! polling shows most men, as long as they know if you’re clean, like to eat pussy. It’s not that they like sucking on a piece of meat but they love to see how much you enjoy what they’re doing. Men like the sense of power they have at that moment, they can lick you op to heaven and that’s good for there ego’s. A few examples to the question ‘how do you feel about eating pussy?’: ‘I love to see a girl wrangle under my tongue’ and ‘delicious’.

To the gentlemen:
– Don’t think it over to much and stay real. It’s not like all of you have porndicks, and the infantile pussy’s in porn are no standard! In case you notice things as a strong scent try to talka bout it to your partner. Keep in mind, the smell of a pussy can be influenced by hormones during the menstruation cycle, nutrition but also by your semen.

– Since not every girl is the same I can’t give you one way of eating pussy which works on everyone. It’s a matter of trying and honesty. If you make sure your lady is comfortable, she can tell you exactly how she likes it. From subtle to explicit.

– We (just) learned you get turned on by watching us and we can understand, but if you keep staring at us we get a bit intimidated and scared. Try to limit this a bit so your GF can relax more.

A few tips to do ‘it’ right:
* Make sure to convince your GF you like doing going down on her, and don’t make her think you think she is ugly or dirty.

* increase slowly. A clitoris is very sensitive, if you immediately attack it it will be oversensitive which makes it not nice to be touched anymore. Her labia are also sensitive, start by stimulating them and the area around the clit before you go straight to the point.

* Don’t forget about your hands, combining fingering and licking can totally increase the pleasure. This is also a good technique when you have a girl who takes a bit more time to come. In this way you can variate licking and fingering to endure longer and so your tongue won’t become paralyzed.

* If the girls clitoris isn’t that sensitive you can gently suck on it. In this way more blood will get in which makes the clitoris to be more swollen and more surface = more feeling. Also you can lift-up the clitoral hood. Place your hand on her venus and lift her skin by pulling a bit with your thumb.

* if it’s to sensitive, focus on the area around her clitoris and make sure she is wet enough, yes also there. If she is really sensitive you can use a condom or she could wear very thin tights. This is also really turning on if you can rip the off after making her come and you want to fuck her.

* Very important: Be patient. Not every girl will orgasm that fast and not everyone wants the same. If you notice what you’re doing doens’t have that much effect change it. Only changing from licking clockwards to counter-clockwise can have a big outcome. The more close to the orgasm, the less changes are wanted.

* And finally, practice makes perfect 😉

I hope this will help you and I wish you lots of fun with applying this theory!
P.s. To the men who still think same as the examples in my introduction: If you don’t want to give, don’t expect anything!
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