Blunders in bed (EN)

I have to admit that I expected more of the blunders. So there are two options, either everybody is verrry good in bed or one has such a big blunder that he/she doesn’t want to tell it. Anyway, I found lots of nice ones and of course if you want to add yours, feel welcome to respond here!

So read on to find out about the most crazy, painful or shameful blunders of other. Mine are also hidden between the others ūüėČ

“I once got a blowjob by someone with braces and somehow I got stuck with my foreskin. The fun was immediately over…”
“I called her by a wrong name” ¬†This one came up more often and someone also had a solution: Just always say honey.
“While we were busy I farted. I have never been that ashamed in bed!” I also heard about pussy-fart blunder, but actually those are no real blunders..
“Men who think my nipples are radio buttons which you have to turn really hard from left to right, or who think there tongue, where ever on mu body, has to have same speed as a dryer on it’s highest level. ¬†“¬≠
“Is ‘loosing’ a condom also a blunder? ‘Cause in that case I blundered a lot.”
“After the sex I was¬†laughing¬†about something which lead to some blob that came out of me.. In the middle of his bed..”
“Sex in your parents bed (while they were on holiday) because you don’t have a two-persons-bed yourself just¬†collapse¬†trough. It happened to me about 6 years ago, but it’s still on my mind.” Collapsing beds happen more often. it even happened to me once.
“I sat on a chair, she sat on my lap with her back turned to me while she was fucking me.. At some point I thought to myself: Well let’s change my position a bit cause my back starts aching. At the moment I wanted to move my GF came down with het whole weight on me. My penis¬†folded¬†almost double. Auw…”
Parents or siblings who ask if you can be a bit more quiet.
“I don’t know why but my boyfriend and I had to laugh so hard during sex that my pussy was totally locked and he couldn’t get hard enough so it¬†definitely didn’t work anymore.”
“I was sucking my boyfriend on my knees while he was standing up. Suddenly he bend his knees a bit and I followed the movement¬†until¬†he¬†suddenly¬†stretched himself because he was about to come. In a reflex to not let him slip out of my mouth I bit, and hard.. That was the first and last time I heard a guy ¬†swearing because of pain while coming.”
“Because of cramps I pulled up my knee automatically. Beng! Straight in his groin. Sorry baby..” This also happened to someone else, but he ended up with a bleeding nose.
“Squirting for the first time during sex, but not understanding it, so you think you pied yourself. It felt like a big blunder until he told me what happened, the relief!”
“Once I ejaculated in a girls eye.. it pricked, she started crying like a crazy person..¬≠”
“During sex on the sofa, my ex suddenly rammed his dick in me, turned out the dog put his cold nose under my ex’ balls.”
“I took the wrong entrance if you know what I mean. She coulnd’t laugh about it.”
“My mother in law came to me¬†once¬†with a¬†trash-can¬†and a pair of gloves. If I could check the dog?¬†Apparently¬†he ate the condom and it didn’t come out that easy…”
“The first time putting a condom on with my mouth. He already came before the thing was in it’s place.. But that’s more his blunder if you ask me.”
“After I went down on my boyfriend I came up at the same time he came down.. Because of that we bumped into each-other so heard that his tooth got¬†trough¬†his lip. Oops..”

Furthermore I heard about people which , drunk or not, fell a sleep during sex, coulnd’t remember the sex because of alcohol, have bee caught by¬†family-members (if you consider that blundering) and in general accidental head- or elbow bumps during sex.Do you have one which you like to share (anonymous) with us, respond than and let us laugh with you ūüėÄ

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